Shopping With Mel

You enter the Church of Scientology. You feel you should be impressed by the large, modishly grand building. Everything appears to be made out of gold - the skirting boards are gold, the doorknobs are gold, the brackets which hold the gold banister to the gold-plated walls are gold. You suspect the soft carpet upon which you and Tom walk may wall be made out of spun gold.

Tom continues talking as he guides you through endless identical corridors, word after word after word - 'Founded... amazing... Thetans... amazing... worship... amazing... amazing... amazing...amazing... amazing...' You wonder if it would be okay to ask for a beer.

Finally, Tom grabs one of the golden doorknobs and opens a door. He guides you into a small, empty room. There is only a sofa in one corner and a large framed photograph of L. Ron Hubbard on the opposite wall.

'Wait here, have a seat. Amazing!' says Tom. 'I'll go get L. Ron. He'll be delighted to meet you. He thinks you're amazing.'

You tell him you thought L. Ron Hubbard had died.

'Oh, he has,' Tom says. 'He's still alive though. In a sense. We keep his head in a jar filled with brine. Amazing, no? Anyway, wait here. I'll go get him. Just don't touch anything or go anywhere. Amazing!'

Do you want to:

wait in this room?
wander about?